Why time should not define our friendships

How do we define friendship? Movies and Series have shown us a not so accurate image of how friendships should be.  Let’s take Carrie and Co. from Sex and the city as an example. Having regular lunches together, visiting several glorious events and with all the drama they have, they still are and forever will be best friends. Nice theory? Sure. But is it a reality as well? Not that much.

 

 

 

Best friends forever

As we were children, friendships were our lives foundation. We did everything to sit next to each other in school, we spent every free minute together and swore each other eternal friendship.
Unfortunately, a few years later we experience life. We get busier every day, romantic relationships and family take up more time than expected, goals and careers are getting more important and suddenly we find ourselves alone at home, scrolling through our Instagram feed, with no lasted friendship we once promised to be eternal.

Fact is that we all are permanently busy and organizing dates with our friends sometimes seem more stressful than something we look forward to.
A personal example: A friend and I have once promised each other that our friendship will never be a thing we must schedule in our agendas. This is now ages ago and I haven’t seen her for almost a year.

 

 

 

Let’s be honest.

The romantic illusion of friendships as they are shown in movies and series like Sex and the City is pure fiction. At least when we have overcome our teen-years. It’s just reality that we all are super busy all the time or that we sometimes value family or careers more than friendships. And it’s absolutely fine!

Friendships aren’t birthday cards, happy selfies or the years you know each other. It’s the recognition that we all are human, that we all have individual lives, careers, families, and that after all of that we still are here for each other.

 

 

good friendships

 

Instead of defining friendships by time or availability we should accept that those things are absolutely irrelevant. Also, friendship doesn’t mean that you know all each other’s secrets, your favorite Starbucks blends or even having all the same interests.
A good and true friendship is based on being on one level, respecting each other, giving each other the security to be who we truly are and to be loving, caring and understanding.

Friends come and go – it’s a fact. But we never know with whom we suddenly sit in a bar again, having the best time ever. Friendships aren’t about time. It’s about those tiny moments we’ll always remember, the feeling of being supported even though we haven’t seen each other for a while and about being true and honest to each other. And who knows, maybe someday we’ll find that time again and relive those childhood-friendship-moments again.

 

photo credits: Hunkemöller Hosiery Campaign 2018

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