My inner voice and I

We all have her: the inner voice that is constantly speaking to us. Sometimes she is in a good mood, sometimes she is so negative. My inner voice always seemed to be like a parent. She always wanted me to do things better and ditch bad things. I have ignored my inner voice for years but I could never get fully rid of her. Today I am so thankful that she stayed and that she got louder the more I tried to ignore her. 

 

There are 2 reasons I can think of why we ignore our inner voice. We may be in a social network in which all other voices are louder than our own or we have too little self-confidence, too little trust to listen to our inner voice. We might even put her down because we believe all she says is irrelevant or even unrealistic.
I once came to a point in my life where my inner voice got so loud that I couldn’t ignore her anymore. Maybe because my environment lost it’s loudness or maybe because she really started to shout after all those years I ignored her.

My inner voice always wanted to show me what I should do or where I should go to find my luck. She always wanted the best for me. Looking back today she was mostly, when not always, right. But it was hard listening to her. When she told me that I should not buy that many clothes all the time, I could not listen to her because I thought I would need them to feel pretty. She knew that clothes had nothing to do with beauty and she knew that I should spend my money a littler wiser, but I just would not believe her. It may sound like a trivial example but all those little decisions, as banal as they are, will become and are our life. And all those little decisions can either lead us to our desired life or mislead us terribly.

My inner voice and I lived in two different worlds. We still do today sometimes but I decided to be friends. She is not that bad though, sometimes she’s a little kill-joy but we are working on it. But since I have started to listen a little more to her I somehow really feel better. I feel more like myself.

 

 

Honey, it’s you.

Today I know that my inner voice isn’t a different person or character. She is me, the pure me with my true wishes and desires. I was ignoring myself all the time. I have been the one who was talking to myself and I was the one who got louder the more I didn’t listen. It’s possible that I was aware of it all along. Maybe I needed to grow first, learn to trust and gain confidence before I could take this truth – the truth that I all along already knew what I wanted from life, the truth that I all along already knew where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be.

My inner voice, or in that case, me and I, still get to know each other. It will be a lifelong journey like all friend- or relationships are. But one thing I know for sure: we both want the same and we will only achieve those things if we work together and listen to each other. We must trust each other, or in that case, I have to trust myself.

 

 

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